I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that the scanners not working, now that it's been separated from my PC, and it's not working for any of my other family members' modern machines. The good news is that I'm in a better and proper room for me to work in peace, now that my 2nd older sister's moved out after getting married. However, her cat's still with us, for the time being, until she decides to take her with. 

My room could still use some work on the rearrangements, but I'm finally free from hearing my eldest sister's constant bickering with her child, every day outside my previous room. As for work, now that I'm trying to find a job, has not been looking good, due to my country's constant fall in their economy right now. Until something's available soon, I'm stuck living off of chore money.

Also load shedding is still being an asshole to my everyday activities. And still has not been improving the current state that my country's infrastructure has been in lately.

Not gonna post much here. Load shedding's still a problem. Schedule's still impossible to keep up with. And the heat right now is not helping in remedying the situation. Will try to finish any Year of the Rabbit artwork, before New Years; if I have the strength for it.

Not much to add here. Still miserable; load shedding is still a dick to my activities; and my body age is beginning to show. Devil's Night is coming soon, and I'm not even excited about it.

Been toying around with an AI art generator lately, to see how it draws my existing works; however, I don't plan on uploading AI art, but I will be showcasing them for my friends eyes only. Year's going by fast, And I barely saved up money to do better things with my life. Still stuck using Windows 7, with no plans on upgrading soon.

Not sure what plans I'll have for the upcoming Summer, but for now I'm just gonna take things slowly. I've deprived myself of sleep too many times to make an improvement with my life style.

Winter came a lot sooner, and with the corruption of our electricity company constantly screwing me over my free time, I'm back to square one; still trying to figure out how to manage my schedule. Depriving myself of sleep hasn't been doing wonders for me lately, and has only made me more tired than usual. Tiredness I wish I didn't had during the amount of time before the power cuts again.

To be honest, I'm not feeling any happier with where things are going these days. Even my dreams are trying to remind of how much I hate my family, or try to predict something bad is going to happen; and it only gets more depressing from there. A person wants to sleep, but then you're filled with dread that you might have the same dreams, trying to remind you, that there's no hope for you. And when you realize it's an actual dream, you try your utmost darndest to never wake up; because who the hell wants to live on this miserable planet in this modern age anymore; definitely not me.

More problems to come, and I'm always anticipating another worse scenario about unfold soon. I'm already prepared to accept that some of my bad dreams, may become reality. Pessimism is too strong and I feel like I was right to not believe that there is still hope left.

Finally an end to a horrible month, if I was a VTuber right now. Other than those, the days have gotten a lot shorter. It feels like only less than 12 hours long, because of Load Shedding.

Schedule hasn't been improving; tried staying up all night to get things done, and immediately regret it later. Multi-tasking has never been this frustrating to do, and always burns out when the mood starts setting in. Even now I'm struggling to right up a brief journal of what's happening, and I can't help but wanna stop writing another.

I just wish everything goes well after a horrible start to a new year; which I will always predict will be worst than the previous. And as my pessimism grows, I can clearly say 2024 will be even worse.

Final month of 2022, and here I am; miserable and still struggling to make ends meet. Plans are going up in smoke and I'm feeling more demotivated.

It's been a difficult year, and yet I feel like I could of done so much more. With load shedding, further worsening my schedule, I can't help but ask myself; when will it all end? Furthermore, I've become more tired than usual lately. I'll have to assume, my sleepy deprivation has gotten worse than it was before; and even if I'm trying to rest more often, my body still shuts down from the slightest amount of over exertion.

When I try to make time to play a brand new game, or go back to one I enjoy; I'll have to say they I've wasted to much of my life on free-to-play battle pass completions, only for my efforts to feel bittersweet. IDK; I think I just miss playing a game to relax to, than being casually competitive in PVP. I just don't feel like I'm ready for these types of games at my current age.

At this point; I'll just have let things play through, and worse comes to worse, then so be it.

Another year I grow older. And the underwhelming part is that there's no load shedding to ruin my night; as if I wanted it to.

Right now, I'm pass my mid-30s of age, and could use an update to my sona OC. Been working on it, but didn't expect it to be this late. I had 6 others (One I already made, but will be redesigning that character to match the theme) in the works, but they too will have to wait.

Don't have much else to add, since I'm kind of at a loss for what I want prepare, for the next Devil's Night. I just wish I had more time to do anything with my free time.

So it eventually comes to this, where I've given myself too much, with little to no opportunities to work with. Now that COVID (or any other Winter sickness) is no longer at it's strongest, for the time being; I may need to change things up a bit.

Also this year's gotten a lot rough than I expected, I feel like every VTuber I grow attached to, at a very late stage, starts graduating shortly after. Right now, only one of them came back, looking brand new, and in good hands, this time; because their retrenchment was undeserved.

As for art, everything's become stagnant with the ludicrous amount of time I spend watching YouTube and Twitch. And when I have to check up on submission notifs, it even more time, that I can't even make time to just continue where I left off. Also I've barely played any actual games for more than an hour (or even 20 minutes for that matter), and still cannot find time to do art.

Maybe it's time I stop subscribing/following new content creators; I've already have too many to keep up with, that the playlists I created to watch later, become endless.

Almost forgot to leave a journal, as I've come down with a cold and was trying to retire for the day.

As of now Fall/Autumn, did not go as planned as I haven't finished the concepts of OCs I had planned, plus the redesign of my persona. Half of my schedule's time has been spent checking for any news on Youtube, or trying to keep up with the many YouTubers/VTubers I've followed/subscribed. Some of that time spent on video games, that I barely play for fun anymore, and only to keep myself updated on free collectables.

As much as I repeat this ever so often; my schedule hasn't been fixed yet, and barely have time to continue with my drawings.

Pretty much will be taking things slowly from here onwards, until I feel comfortable to touch my pencil and paper. Might drop in some scraps, just to keep my galleries updated.

Funny how I predicted this year not being a blessing, as it has already started off negatively. A war has broken out; retrenchment from a Vtuber agency that shouldn't have happened, not to mention some of them being hit with COVID too. And now I'm having mixed feelings for one of them; I can't tell whether to love her, or be afraid of her. And because I have a habit of doing too much research, YouTube has been recommending me more dark web videos that I didn't ask for, now that I kinda added a very dark group of VTubers to my watch; I can't confirm if they're all part of that same circle, but I can confirm one of them is.

In other news, my sleep schedule hasn't improved, and it seems like my body is incapable of processing caffeine; doesn't matter how much coffee, tea, energy drinks and tonics (the latter one which I will not be going back to) I take, fatigue still finds a way to shut me down. Now that the heat has died down, I should feel a bit more comfortable sketching again. However, as much as I have some unfinished illustrations done, I feel like starting over. One being my sona and name for that particular character. Will also be focusing on concepts of several other characters that I have plans for. As of now, I'll be doing less anthro, and more of the non-human stuff after these. Now that ASMR (all of them coming from VTubers) is my only saving grace on fixing my sleep schedule, I still plan on paying my respects to Uruha Rushia, before all of her ASMR VODs get deleted; by listening to all of them one last time, on the last week of this month. Even now, I've never been this concerned over a talent's well being. I'm just hoping she's doing okay, and she'll find success elsewhere. Also, I hope everyone's Spring is going well for them too.

To end things off. I'm gonna predict 2023 will be even worse in the hopes that I'm wrong, when it happens.